Psycho's Secret Asylum

I'm Not Really THAT Crazy... Right?

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I Always Said Boy Bands Were Gay

Just thought I'd be the first to let you know that Lance Bass of N'SYNC is in fact a homo. And I don't mean sapien; I mean sexual. As in he likes other men. Which I don't understand but we can talk about that later. While we wait for that discussion I just want to point out many girls will now be scarred that they had a crush on a gay man. And many men will be happy, but that's a different story.

By the way, if you look at the results of the poll it says that most people's opinion of stars when they reveal they're gay. I find that resonable because they're all left wing gay-wads anyway (I'm not a fan of Hollywood's lifestyle; not even all the movies).

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Because Muslims And Jews Really Care What The Pope Says

So over this past weekend apparently the pope urged Israel and those other people to stop fighting. Does anyone else feel like this won't work? That'd be like Muhammad telling Christians and atheists to stop having differences. We don't care what Muhammad has to say. We don't belong to the same religion. So I thought the old pope was crazy.... good thing I'm not Catholic!

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Been Gone

Sorry, I was in Chicago for a week but now I am completely lost to what has been happening in the world. Could you people help me out? Thanks.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

I Don't See Why They Can't Just Use Duct Tape

Today the astronauts up in space somewhere use spackle on purposfully damaged shuttle parts to test to see if they would hold up so we could prevent another space shuttle blowing up. But why couldn't they just use duct tape? Doesn't duct tape work for everything? Should we have been using spackle all this time? And what is with the word "spackle"? Who on earth came up with that name? Although it is fun to say....

(100 times of saying "spackle" later)

I don't even remember where I was going with this. But I definetly wasn't going to space. Too much spackle up there for me.

Monday, July 10, 2006

There Is No Brain Under All That Hair

Ok. So here's the deal. North Korea will only resume six party talks if we unfreeze a bank account holding twenty-four million US dollars for them to access. That makes lots of sense. We practically hand them 24 mil and they talk to us about dismantling their nuclear program. But don't they realize we know what they'll spend that money on? We all know that they'll spend it on more nukes! They spent about $6 million dollars on the recent missile tests which means we could fund four more seven missile tests or attacks. Sure we'll do it. Let me just finish sticking this knife in my toaster.

What really gets me is with the money spent on the missile tests they could feed 200,000 of their own starving citizens for a year.

A country's first priotrity should be their own people's well being. And before the missile tests North Korea wasn't being threatened.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Conservative Rules

I finally read "the man rules" and thought there should be rules for conservatives. I googled it and to much dismay found none. So I decided I would write my own. I hope you find them helpful.

We believe the government should be a reflection of what the people want.

We eat meat. Yes, meat that comes from animals.

We like things the way they used to be; when people weren’t stupid.

If you like stupid things, move to France.

Not all conservatives like all republican politicians. Keep in mind they’re politicians, no one likes them.

If you don’t like something, stop whining. This is America: you can change it yourself.

We don’t surrender. And surrendering isn’t considered winning.

We know Okinawa is not in the Middle East. Next time you think about suggesting we protect ourselves from the Middle East based in Okinawa, try jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge while in Okinawa. See how that works out for you.

There is no way you could convince us killing unborn babies isn’t murder.

We are better because our ideas make actual sense.

Racism At Its Finest!

A friend sent me this joke. I have no clue where he got it but it's good racist fun*.


God went to the Arabs and said,
"I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better."

And the Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?"

And the Lord said, "They are rules for living."

"Can you give us an example?"

"Thou shalt not kill."

"Not kill? We're not interested."

So he went to the Blacks and said, "I have Commandments."

And the Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, "Honor thy
Father and Mother."

"Father? We don't know who our fathers are."

So He went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments."

And the Mexicans wanted an example, and the Lord said, "Thou shalt
not steal."

"Not steal? We're not interested."

He went to the French and said, "I have Commandments"

The French wanted an example and the Lord said, "Thou shalt not
commit adultery."

"Not commit adultery? We're not interested.

He went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments."

"Commandments?" they said, "How much are they?"

"They're free."

"We'll take 10."

*Psycho does not condone racist acts. Only harmless jokes. If you take offense to any jokes here tell your friends. Have them read the site. And so on and so forth until I become either famous or infamous.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

I Say Sacrifice The Liberals

So recently North Korea has set off over six missiles as tests. Now there is no sure way to stop Kim Jong Il from using missiles against us but my suggestion is sacrifice the liberals. We'll start with the annoying ones and if that doesn't work we'll keep going until none are left. I wonder if that would make him happy. Or, we could just give him a few thousand "Americans" and get rid of our immigration problem as well! Wow.... North Korea have nukes and missiles could turn out to help us!

By the way.... who names a boy Kim? Then again... maybe they new he would be gay when he grew up. If I'm not mistaken he wears high heels...

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Happy 4th!

Happy fourth of July everyone! I know that this is over done so I won't say much but I must say that I love our country. It is really cool because we stand for everything the French don't. Like freedom and fighting for it. In case you missed it the French don't fight. Hence the French being girly men. We really need to do something about that....

Don't Steal XP Or... We'll... Keep Warning You!

Sounds dumb but it's true. Microsoft is warning people with illegal copies of Windows XP. Now, so far the software that checks the legality of your copy of XP is voluntary, but soon it will be mandatory. But so far, Windows new anti-piracy software does nothing to prevent piracy. It checks if your copy is legal, but then it simply tells you if your XP is legal or not and then simply warns that you should get a legal copy. Now here comes the kicker. If your copy isn't legal, they offer you a discounted copy. To me that's great. If I can't afford XP I'll just steal it and get a discounted copy! Or if I don't care it's stolen simply deal with the warnings Microsoft sends me.

But personally I don't understand why big businesses hate piracy so much. I understand it makes them lose money but to lose maybe a thousand dollars when you earn approximately one billion dollars a second, I don't think that's really a problem, that's just greedy. These businesses really need to shape up and understand that they have more than enough financial cushion to survive.

Apparently We Don't Care

So not too long ago the C.I.A. disbanded the unit focused on finding Bin Laden. I don't know if they just don't care or they find him not as much as a threat as he was ten years ago when they formed the group; that was back before it was popular to hate Osama. But what is the C.I.A. going to close up next? Maybe their whole counter terrorist unit? I mean... we weren't attacked in a while, so it probably doesn't deserve a whole unit to itself... right? Hmm.... somehow that doesn't make sense.

Maybe the C.I.A. needs to rethink what to close and when.

Monday, July 03, 2006 4 year Blogiversary

So has been around for four years. I've only been reading for about 10 months but I must say Frank J. (the founder and lead blogger of is a comic genius. And fortunately for him he has a face made for blogging! He's also famous for not replying to emails and punching liberals in their dumb monkey faces. His short temper and quick wit bring him to the ranks of some funny guy that no one knows.... I forgot his name.

Anyway, congrats to Frank J. I hope to last as long as you! But be better looking...


Taking Respect Away From Those Who Deserve It

Okay, so Steven D. Green and three other soldiers killed a man, a women, a five year old girl, and raped a twenty-five year old female and then killed her. All of them Iraqi. Now a few things come to mind:

  1. You just ruined the image for all the other soldiers who risk their lives, and sometimes lose them, defending our country and others.
  2. All the people you are there to free are now going to look at our soldiers and think of something you did. Now you aren't just ruining the image that we have for our fine men and women but you ruined the image that the Iraqis have towards what we are doing there.
  3. You are a SICK FREAK! Now killing a man is one thing, still bad but we have generally been more desensitized to it. And then you kill a woman. Which definitely shows how tough you are (sense the sarcasm?). Now you kill their five year old child, after she just saw her parents die. I suppose it was nice to put her out that misery, but you are getting worse and worse. I can't even continue.... I have developed a extreme hate for this guy.

If you want to know more read the rest here.

My Alternate Reality Issue #2 (transported from old blog)

What if...

We hadn't killed Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi

Who am I kidding?! WE are the U.S. of A. ...or the U.S. of kicking terrorist A.

Which ever you perfer.

My Alternate Reality Issue #1 (transported from old blog)

What if...
Moussaoui would have gotten the death penalty...

Moussaoui is jumping up and down as the jury returns the verdict and finds him elligible for the death sentence. "Here I come virgins!!!" he exclames as he is dragged off to death row.

Muslims praise him and call him a true martyr and everyday in death row he is seen counting down the days 'till he dies with a smile and laughter that makes everyone cringe. Jailers promptly use their tasers.

Moussaoui is led to the table and smiles as he is slowly put to death. Everyone wonders what went wrong, isn't death row a penalty? He explains at his death that because he is a martyr he will receive virgins and sensual pleasures in paradise. If only we can see his face after death. He meets virgins, but only because Satan and his demons ain't getting any... I don't think he will enjoy these feelings.

A little warm Moussaouri?