Conservative Rules

I finally read "the man rules" and thought there should be rules for conservatives. I googled it and to much dismay found none. So I decided I would write my own. I hope you find them helpful.

We believe the government should be a reflection of what the people want.

We eat meat. Yes, meat that comes from animals.

We like things the way they used to be; when people weren’t stupid.

If you like stupid things, move to France.

Not all conservatives like all republican politicians. Keep in mind they’re politicians, no one likes them.

If you don’t like something, stop whining. This is America: you can change it yourself.

We don’t surrender. And surrendering isn’t considered winning.

We know Okinawa is not in the Middle East. Next time you think about suggesting we protect ourselves from the Middle East based in Okinawa, try jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge while in Okinawa. See how that works out for you.

There is no way you could convince us killing unborn babies isn’t murder.

We are better because our ideas make actual sense.